The Life She Wants by Mel Sherratt

Author:Mel Sherratt [Sherratt, Mel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781803140032
Publisher: Bookouture
Published: 2021-11-29T05:00:00+00:00

Thirty-Five

Although nervous about seeing Sarah again after so long, Louisa had been excited too. As it was Richard’s idea to contact her, she hadn’t been sure it would happen. She’d thought he was playing with her emotions. He often did that, promised her something and then didn’t follow through. But his thoughts about it giving her a boost, as she’d been feeling so low lately, were nice to hear and it made a welcome change.

As soon as Louisa had seen Sarah, it was as if their time apart melted away. She hadn’t realised until then how much she had missed her. They had been so close when they were growing up. Although there was an age gap between them, they’d been through a lot together and it had made them stronger. If it weren’t for that stupid argument they’d had when she’d last visited Derby, when Sarah kept saying she’d abandoned her, things might have been so different.

But they had both inherited their mother’s stubborn streak and after harsh words had been said, neither of them had wanted to wave the white flag of surrender. The silence had continued until it felt too long to get in touch anyway. And every time she was thinking of going to Derby to talk to her, Richard would have something he needed to do, or he’d treat her to a day out. She presumed he wanted time with her whenever he could fit it around his work. His painting was so important to him so she didn’t blame him then.

Louisa recalled a time when she and Sarah were inseparable as children, even more so when Dad left and they were stuck with looking after Mum, rather than the other way around. She wasn’t a caring mum. All she was interested in was where her next drink would come from. Sometimes Louisa thought she forgot she had two children.

They fended for themselves mostly, even though lots of times they went hungry. They’d get home from school to no food in the house and a note to say Mum would be back later. They never knew where she would be, or who with, more to the point. Her one true love in life was alcohol.

Louisa had followed her once or twice and would see her with other men. She started drinking herself for a few months, when she felt she couldn’t cope with the responsibility of looking out for her and her sister all the time. After using vodka to block out her horrible life, she understood why Mum drank so much. Alcohol gave her an edge and numbed the feeling of hopelessness. But she soon realised that she didn’t want to be reliant on it.

Mum brought home lots of men, strangers who she assumed used her for sex. Luckily nothing ever happened with her and Sarah, although there was a time when Sarah started to drink too. She would have been about fifteen. Louisa was still at home at that point, still the parent to her.

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